THE LOST SOUL

So far I have written as though I am a saint. But, I lost my trip to heaven long ago. I grew up on a farm, deep into the Christian religion, and after joining the army at the age of seventeen I purchased books on all the different religions throughout the world, and studied them all to learn all I could about them. Then I went to Vietnam and came home full of hate. I hated the Vietnamese, the Army, the Government, and myself. I had and have no understanding of love, or being loved. I trusted no-one, although I have learned to trust many people now, I have no trust for the Government at all. Now, mixed into all this was 100 proof Captain Morgan, and it made me pure mean. For many who know me now, this is a shocker, because I developed liver problems some thirty years ago and quit drinking on the spot. It has been so long that I don't even remember being a drunk, but I am sure there are some who will never forget. So even though I no longer drink or hate anyone, I am far from being pure. I try to be a good neighbor without bothering my neighbors and I try so hard to keep my nose on my side of the fence, that I perhaps appear to be a snob. But years ago I had to fight so many people I tried to be friends with, to save my reputation, businesses, and home, that when the ones I was fighting were long gone, I still felt threatened and would attack in response to what I saw as a threat. So.. a lot of people saw me as a threat because of it. So that is why I try to mind my own business, in a friendly way.